Advice From Sensei - The Weapon of Nonviolence

“This is the unusual thing about nonviolence -- nobody is defeated, everybody shares in the victory.”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

Last week we examined the role compassion plays in the life of the Martial Artist. This week, we’re examining a complementary idea to compassion: nonviolence. Again, to the uninitiated person—perhaps someone who only knows the Martial Arts through Jet Li movies—the idea of tying nonviolence to Martial Arts may seem at odds with the whole notion of Martial Arts. When you stop and think about it, though, nonviolence is actually a key aspect of our practice, our discipline, and our way of life.

There is a story about Kung Fu master and movie legend Bruce Lee that underlines the point. One day, as the story goes, Master Lee was surrounded by eager fans who were badgering him with questions about how he’s handle certain theoretical situations.

“What if you were cornered, in an alley, by seven guys with baseball bats?” asked one fan. “What would you do then?”

Lee paused, smiled, and said to the group, “The master would not be in that situation.”

It’s worth noting here that this interaction probably never happened. It is most likely, like a lot of stories about famous people, a myth fabricated out of whole cloth. But the moral of the story is, nonetheless, very important. The practice of Martial Arts is not about defeating seven guys with baseball bats in a blind alley; it’s about defending oneself when necessary and living a life that does not require regular use of one’s skills. In other words, the Martial Arts is about living honorably, not looking for a fight, and being skillful in the world.

The Hagakure, Yamamoto Tsunetomo’s 18^th Century book on the Samurai code, attributes seven virtues to Japan’s storied warriors, the Samurai: respect, honesty, courage, rectitude, loyalty, honor, and benevolence. Upon closer inspection of the seven virtues, one can clearly see that violence for the warrior is not a virtue; it’s an unfortunate outcome when others do not adhere to the code.

Nonviolence can perhaps be understood as the balancing point for the warrior. On one side, there is the need to be respectful and benevolent; on the other, there is the need to be honorable and courageous. The respectful and benevolent warrior does not seek a fight, but the honorable and courageous Martial Artist will definitely defend himself and others in the event that there is a need to do so.

“Nonviolence,” as Mahatma Gandhi said, “is the weapon of the strong.”

Knowing how to throw a punch or use a weapon in self-defense does not translate into a path of violence. The Way of the Warrior is all about avoiding the fight; using our wisdom and our discipline to defuse a situation before it becomes necessary to defend ourselves. When we operate in the world as true warriors, persons of respect and honor, courage and loyalty, we will be surprised to find how infrequently the fight finds us—especially if we’re not looking for a fight.

Advice from Sensei - Compassion and the Warrior

“The Martial Artist without philosophy is nothing more than a street fighter.”

~Author unknown

It might sound odd to someone unfamiliar with the Martial Arts, but compassion is actually a big part of our practice. Learning how to defend ourselves doesn’t have to mean getting into a fight. In fact, very often our Martial Arts discipline is more about seeing things from the other person’s point of view in order to avoid the fight. In life, and in the Martial Arts, it’s all about compassion.

Many who enter the Martial Arts do so with the idea that they will be the next Bruce Lee. The idea seems to be that, with enough physical training, the perfected Martial Artist (if there ever can be such a one) can vanquish his or her foes and walk through the world tough and untouchable. But what the true student of the Martial Arts soon learns is that there is more—a lot more—to training than just brute force. Without a guiding philosophy and an underlying system of values, the Martial Artist becomes just a brute looking for a fight.

Simply put, compassion means having concern for the suffering and misfortunes of others. Compassion is a close friend of empathy—the ability to see things from another person’s point of view. Together, compassion and empathy serve as good guides for the Martial Artist, and should be understood as cornerstones of the philosophy that guide our practice as we work to perfect ourselves as warriors.

So, what does compassion look like for a Martial Artist? Consider the following scenario:

You’re at school and a fellow student is walking behind you, harassing you. His verbal taunts soon turn physical and he shoves you from behind, causing you to drop your books and fall. You feel the blood rush to your face—that rare combination of rage and shame that so often precedes a fight—and you find yourself balling your hand into a fist, prepared to strike back in self defense (after all, he started it!).

What if, instead of turning around and dismantling the aggressor who so foolishly picked a fight with you, you instead turned around and said something along the lines of, “Hey, man, I don’t want a fight with you. It’s pretty clear that you need to feel better about yourself, and that’s why you’re messing with me, but I would really rather not have to defend myself and hurt you in the process. How about we walk away from this?”

That’s what compassion looks like from a Martial Artist. Yes, you could very justifiably throw a punch in self-defense. You could totally annihilate the guy, especially if you’ve been training hard for a little while. But if you have a foundation of compassion guiding your training, you’ll realize that you don’t HAVE to. You can choose to show mercy; you can choose to show compassion. This is not to suggest that every fight can be avoided—if you’re in real danger, you should always defend yourself.

When and where possible, however, you should lead with compassion and be concerned with the suffering of others. After all, as a Martial Artist you bear the heavy burden of being in a position to inflict some real pain on another human being. Walk that path carefully. We are not street fighters or thugs without moral instincts. We are Martial Artists on the path of Black Belt excellence. That path is paved with honor, with discipline, and with compassion.

For more on the role of compassion in the Martial Arts, check out what others have written here, here, and here.

Advice From Sensei - PUNCTUALITY

King Louis XVIII is said to have said, “Punctuality is the politeness of kings.” When you think about it, the French monarch was making quite a statement about the importance of being on time.

In Louis’ time, kings, and royalty in general, were afforded many privileges, principal among them being the choice of when—perhaps even if—to show up to an appointment. When Louis XVIII referred to punctuality as the “politeness of kings,” he was really saying that even a royal should show the basic respect of being punctual. So, if being on time is good enough for a king, it’s probably a good idea for the rest of us, too!

If you’ve been in the Dojo for any amount of time, chances are you’ve heard an instructor say that it’s better to be a half hour early than one minute late. Makes a lot of sense, especially when you consider that being late is not the best way to demonstrate your commitment to your Martial Arts training, your instructor, or yourself.

Punctuality is a sign of respect. Being on time demonstrates to the person you’re meeting that you care about them enough to value their time. Being punctual shows that you value the time being given to you enough that you’ll not waste a minute of it by being tardy. After all, time is the one thing we give and are given that can never be returned. Time only flows one direction, and so it’s very important to be mindful and respectful of another person’s time!

Have you ever thought about what the world would be if NOBODY cared about being on time? You’d never be able to get anything done! Class would never start on time; the bus would always be late; flights would be entirely unpredictable. In short, a world run with no sense of punctuality would be a very chaotic place in which to live!

There’s another, very practical reason to be on time: all of us are only guaranteed a certain amount of it. Marcel Proust once said, “It comes so soon, the moment when there is nothing left to wait for.” Given our brief stay on planet Earth, it makes a lot of sense to make the most of time. There is so much to learn and apprehend, we really shouldn’t waste a moment being late to the lesson.

If you want to be a Black Belt Champion, make it a habit to be punctual. And remember: “It’s better to be a half hour early…than one minute late!”

Advice from Sensei - Attitude!

Abraham Lincoln once said, “You can complain that rosebushes have thorns, or you can rejoice the thorn bushes have roses.” With his characteristic simplicity of language, our 16^th president made an excellent point about how much attitude and perspective matter in life.

Lincoln knew a few things about difficulty, and he showed us more than a few things about why attitude matters. He was born to a frontier family of humble means and, by the age of nine, he had witnessed the death of a brother and his mother. As a young man, he was known to walk for miles just to borrow a book; as president, he refused to allow the dissolution of the Union or the enslavement of his fellow human beings. In the midst of the most violent and deadly conflict to happen in the United States, Lincoln even lost his son. Mostly self-educated and ever determined to be the best he could be, Lincoln’s success can be entirely attributed to his attitude.

Attitude, quite simply, is the way you think and feel, the way you react to the people, events, and things around you. Generally speaking, people tend to have either a positive attitude or a negative attitude. Positive people are able to take the good with the bad and can usually see that even a bad setback isn’t the end of the world. People with positive attitudes are easy to spot, because they are usually pretty happy and well adjusted!

People with negative attitudes are those who just can’t see the positive side of pretty much anything. It might be a sunny day outside, but the negative person thinks it’s too cold; or too hot; or too sunny! Negative people are rarely happy with the world as it is and, instead, grumble constantly about how things should be. Not only is the glass half empty, it’s the wrong kind of glass and the water is polluted.

It is important to understand that your mind is like a garden; what you plant will grow! Your garden needs to be planted with the seeds of a good attitude and positive thinking. Not only is it a good idea to maintain a positive attitude, it’s also a vital aspect of keeping your whole person healthy and living well.

It turns out that positive thoughts are great for your health, your work ethic, and your overall happiness. In fact, according to research done by University of North Carolina’s Barbara Frederickson, “Positive emotions feel good, and feelings like love, joy, and contentment can be valuable in and of themselves … These desirable states built resources that gave our ancestors’ an edge in circumstances that impinged on their survival.”

That’s right: Attitude is not only important for our lives, but it’s an essential element of our survival. So, it’s important to realize that if you want to be a happy person, a productive person, and to achieve Black Belt excellence, you must fill your mind with positivity and your life with positive people and influences.

You can do this by:

·      Thinking positively about ourselves, our lives, and our situation

·      Hanging around positive people who treat us in positive ways

·      Reading and listening to positive material

Even if you’re not in the best mood or feel like you just can’t be a positive person, remember that you can always “fake it…until you make it!” 

Advice From Sensei - Honesty

In Aesop’s classic fairytale “The Boy Who Cried Wolf,” a shepherd boy found it amusing to make the people of his village come running by calling out “Wolf! Wolf! The Wolf is chasing the sheep!” The villagers, angry at being duped, warned the boy to not cry wolf when there was no threat. The boy, however, was heedless and repeated his prank two more times. One day, an actual wolf appeared. The boy cried out “Wolf! Wolf!” and the villagers, believing it to be yet another trick by the dishonest boy, didn’t bother to run to his aid.

As the sun set and the boy hadn’t returned to the village, people started to wonder what happened. When they went to check on him, they found him weeping. “There was a real wolf! The sheep scattered!” lamented the boy. He asked a kindly old man why no one came to his aid, and the old man told him, “Nobody believes a liar. Even when he’s telling the truth.”

Aesop gives us an important lesson in the true value of honesty. When people lie, cheat or steal, they become untrustworthy. On those occasions when a liar tells the truth, people can’t trust them. Even a small lie—a “white lie”—can undermine the trust of others, so it’s important to be an honest person in all of our affairs.

It can be tempting to tell a small lie when you think it might benefit you or prevent you from being punished. Say, for example, you accidentally break something very precious that belongs to your mother. You didn’t do it on purpose, but you’re ashamed that you managed to break a thing your mother held so dear, and so you blame it on your infant brother. After all, he can’t speak up and defend himself, and nobody will punish a baby, so you should be fine.

But you’re not fine. You’ve undermined your relationship with your mother and you’ve damaged your own sense of integrity by not being honest. Doubtless you will experience a degree of guilt and remorse about the lie that will eat at you as time goes on. The lie, and the brief protection it bought you from punishment, turns out to be far more punishing. Had you been honest in the first place, your mother may well have been upset, but it’s pretty certain that she loves you more than she’d ever love an object, and so you would soon be forgiven. After having lied about it, even if you come clean later on and admit your wrongdoing, you’ve already hurt yourself by being dishonest.

Honesty also means being genuine. Honest people don’t exaggerate or lie about who they are or what they’ve accomplished. An honest Martial Artist on the path to earning his Black Belt would never tell another person he was already a Black Belt. In fact, lying about your belt status would be the exact opposite of Black Belt excellence and, if your Sensei found out about your falsehood, you might not be allowed to advance. Even if Sensei never found out; what if your friend did? What would she think of a person who had to lie to impress her? How well would the relationship turn out, after having been built on a lie?

When you think about it, honesty means more than just what you say; it’s also about how you live and what you do on a day-to-day basis. Honest people are those who show up to class or work on time and who do what’s expected of them. Honest people live lives of character and quality, always seeking to be helpful and honorable. Perhaps most importantly, honest people are truthful even when the truth of their words or actions could be hurtful to others—including themselves.

Honesty is telling the truth no matter what. It is being truthful even when admitting the truth disappoints someone. Being honest is being truthful—even when it hurts. As Martial Artists, we are honest with others and ourselves. Always remember be honest, to represent yourself as a true Black Belt Champion.