Advice From Sensei - Personal Responsibility

Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.

– Chinese proverb

In our last post, we discussed the relationship between the Kohai (eager student) and Sempai (mentor). Implied in the relationship between Kohai and Sempai is the idea of personal responsibility. When you think about it, personal responsibility is really the linchpin of the relationship between the student and the mentor.

What is personal responsibility? The Brookings Institution’s Ron Haskins defines personal responsibility as “the willingness to both accept the importance of standards that society establishes for individual behavior and to make strenuous personal efforts to live by those standards.”

Makes sense, right? Take responsibility for everything that deals with yourself, and make sure you’re living up to the standards of your community.

There’s another aspect to personal responsibility that’s equally important, however, and should be clearly understood.  Haskins goes on to say “personal responsibility also means that when individuals fail to meet expected standards, they do not look around for some factor outside themselves to blame. The demise of personal responsibility occurs when individuals blame their family, their peers, their economic circumstances, or their society for their own failure to meet standards.”

At the Dojo, it’s not uncommon to have a student come up for a stripe with no folder and immediately begin with “My mom forgot…” or “my dad forgot…” Without delay we will ask, “Whose folder is it? Whose responsibility is it?” Our folder is just that—OUR folder. Not Mom and Dad’s. So it should be something for which we are personally responsible.

Other examples of things you should be personally responsible for are: pulling your attendance card; knowing your terminology and answers to your questions; knowing your curriculum; getting your Intent to Promote Forms completed on time; and keeping up with all of your classes.

How, then, does the Kohai/Sempai relationship hinge on personal responsibility? Quite simply, without the student taking personal responsibility for her learning, the work of the teacher is entirely in vain. Similarly, if the teacher does not take personal responsibility and constantly improve his skills and his knowledge in the Martial Arts, he will not be the best Sempai he can be—he will not daily earn the title of Sempai.

Remember, the instructors and SWAT members take personal responsibility very seriously. We train hard and we are here to help you any way we can. Ultimately, if you are to succeed as a student of the Martial Arts, you have to take personal responsibility for your training. The best teachers in the world are useless to the student who refuses to own the hard work required to achieve Black Belt excellence! At the end of the day, the responsibility of your training is up to you.

Personal responsibility leads to becoming a responsible adult. Being a responsible adult leads to success and happiness. Start practicing personal responsibility today and you will be on your way to becoming a Black Belt Champion!

Advice from Sensei - Kohai

I'm open for possibilities. I'm open for choices. I always welcome new ideas. I'm always eager to learn. I'm never going to close my mind from learning.

---Cesar Millan; The Dog Whisperer

In Japanese culture, the relationship between the teacher, or mentor, and the student is very important. The Sempai (mentor) is crucial to the success of the Kohai (eager student). Both teacher and student have a responsibility to one another and, in the best circumstances, both Sempai and Kohai benefit from the relationship they share—inside and outside of the Dojo.

To be Kohai implies a responsibility to learn. A good Kohai will listen to his Sempai and will take instruction willingly. We all know that a student is someone who learns. But the Kohai is enthusiastic, ready, willing, and raring to go.  So, to be Kohai, or an “eager student” we want to be all of these things towards learning. By accepting the lessons of our teaching with zeal and a positive attitude, we will become better students who learn faster and become better in everything we do.

Similarly, the role of Sempai also implies a responsibility. The Sempai is responsible to his or her Kohai and should always strive to perform to the best of his or her ability. Ultimately, the Sempai must always train to be “one step ahead” of the Kohai—not in order to show off or seem important, but instead to be the best teacher possible for the student. The Sempai must earn his or her title every day, and the Kohai must eagerly learn as much as he or she can. In such a virtuous cycle of willingness, excellence is sure to follow. Black Belt Excellence is the essence, the pure result of a proper Kohai/Sempai relationship.

To better understand the Kohai/Sempai relationship, think about the role a senior medical doctor plays in the life of a medical student. When the student arrives at the hospital to begin his internship, she is in the middle of a very long road to becoming a medical expert in his chosen specialty. If the intern wants to succeed and be the best in her field, she will show up on time; she will complete her assignments; she will eagerly strive to learn everything she can from her mentor, the senior doctor. By doing so, the intern will eventually develop enough expertise to one day become the mentor for a future intern. The student, if properly motivated and acting as a Kohai, will eventually become the mentor.

Similarly, the senior doctor will be motivated to be the best he can be so as to be an inspiration to his erstwhile student. He will demonstrate proficiency; he will confidently explain all that he knows and be willing to instruct his protégé in all the methods and practices of his medical specialty. In order to do this, the senior doctor will constantly train and educate himself and will daily earn the title of mentor. He will, in other words, be the best Sempai he can be.

Inside the Dojo, remember that Sensei is your Sempai. Your instructors are at the front of the class because they first learned to be Kohai, and have eagerly accepted the lessons of their seniors in the Martial Arts. If you want to demonstrate the best of Black Belt Excellence, start with being the best example of Kohai you can be. Try to be a Kohai outside of Tristar classes as well. In school, at home or work becoming a Kohai will help you to become a Black Belt Champion and the best you can be!

“Kohai means to be an…?”

“Eager Student, Sir!”

Constant and Never Ending Improvement

Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection.

---Kim Collins (Olympian and 2003 World 100m Champion)

As students of the Martial Arts, we are well acquainted with the notion of working steadfastly to improve our discipline and our skills. One way to understand the discipline of constant improvement is to remember the acronym CANEI—Constant and Never Ending Improvement.

CANEI as a practice is not limited to a particular area in which to strive for improvement because it’s talking about you as a whole person. If you’re living the principal of CANEI, you will constantly work toward perfection in all areas of your life– in sports, school, martial arts, in family relationships, and other areas. We should strive to improve all the time by learning and practicing.

Students who have paid attention in their instruction at the Dojo will remember that, in our Student Creed, there is a paragraph that very strongly echoes the idea of CANEI. Take a moment. Recite the Creed to yourself and think about which paragraph really speaks to the notion of Constant and Never Ending Improvement.

When you think about it, the discipline of CANEI is extremely useful, and not just for your life as a student of the Martial Arts. CANEI means knowing that a B can always be improved to an A. It means that losing the big game can be transformed into becoming a better player. It means that doing your best is not just something you do occasionally, but every moment of every day.

CANEI also means that you don’t allow failure to define you, but rather to motivate you to do better. As Thai Martial Arts champion Tony Jaa said, “never be afraid to fail. Failure is only a stepping stone to improvement.” So, don’t let that bad grade get you down. Don’t allow a temporary setback to define you! Instead, use your low moments to inspire you to do better and to constantly improve. No matter what, you can always start to improve right now.

Part of being a Martial Artist is having the courage and discipline to take the lessons we learn on the mats outside the Dojo. Our task is to be examples, to be leaders in our families, schools, and communities of what a Martial Artist really is. Using CANEI will help you to reach your fullest potential and become the best person you can be—the essence of the Black Belt Spirit!

What does CANEI stand for?

“Constant and Never Ending Improvement, Sir!”

And, in case you haven’t discovered it yet, paragraph four of the student Creed captures the essence of CANEI.

“I intend to try my absolute best.”

This week, go out into the community and be a living example of what Constant and Never Ending Improvement looks like. You can do it!

Advice from Sensei— Compassion

Compassion is the sympathy and understanding that comes from having a keen awareness of the relationships between all living things and the challenges and pitfalls we all face, everyday.

As Martial Artists, we possess strength inside and out, which helps us to manage the physical, emotional, and psychological challenges we face in our own lives. As strong as we may be, sometimes it never feels like we are strong enough; it is in those times of personal weakness that we most need the understanding and compassion of others like family, friends, and strangers. When you feel weak, it is hard to ask or accept help from others, but you know you need it.

The Black Belt knows his or her limits, and knows when he or she needs help, but most importantly, knows that the people around them are going through their own struggles. It is at this time that it is so important for us to show compassion. We have a responsibility to use our strength to lift up others who are going through their personal burdens.

As different as other people are from you, there are so many ways that you are the same. The compassionate person knows that we are all the same, save for the individual circumstances of each of our lives. As a community, we can all do better if we can do it together as a team with care and compassion for one another. Because, as the Dalai Lama says, “Compassion is not religious business, it is human business, it is not luxury, it is essential for our own peace and mental stability, it is essential for human survival.”

Remember, just as you find you need the compassion of others, others need compassion from you, and as a Martial Artist, strong in body and mind, you have a responsibility to show caring and compassion at all times.

#WordsOfWisdom

Advice from Sensei—Self Control

There is an ancient Chinese saying, sometimes attributed to Lao Tzu, “The best fighter is never angry.” This saying truly gets to the heart of what it means to have self-control, especially in the context of the Black Belt. What it does not mean is that anger is an emotion to be avoided; it is actually saying that the best fighter, or best person, is a master of his or her self-control and is able to separate their emotions from their actions.

When a Black Belt masters his or her emotions they are not suppressing them; instead the emotions are recognized, understood, evaluated, and channeled appropriately by the conscientious student. It is ok, often expected, to feel strong emotions, be they happiness, sadness, fear, or anger. Feeling those emotions helps you to validate and understand what is happening to you, but acting on those emotions can lead to foolish or rash decisions.

Understanding your emotions and identifying them allows you to channel them. All of that work put into getting in front of your emotions teaches you to channel them when you need to. You can punch like you mean it, run like you’re being chased, empathize with a friend who’s having difficulties, or show everyone how amazing something is by bringing out your happiness!

Building self-control requires introspection. You must practice acknowledging your emotions, figuring out why you’re feeling those emotions, and then ask yourself what the right decision is without them. Having a clear mind to do so requires having a clear body. Your health and well being have an impact on your emotions and your self-control. Regular exercise, and a diet rich in vegetables, proteins, fruits, and nuts keep your whole body operating as a well-oiled machine with a motivated state of mind.

Practice thinking about what you are doing before you do it. Don’t be impulsive. Exercise self-control. Eat well and exercise.

Be in control of your emotions, attitudes, and actions; don’t let them control you!

#WordsOfWisdom

Advice from Sensei—Perseverance

The famous football great, Vince Lombardi, once said, “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.” What he was talking about was perseverance, seeing things through to the finish no matter how difficult it is or how many barriers stand before you. That perseverance of will is the key to success in all things.

Perseverance is not only an important attribute for a Black Belt to have, but is something that all martial artists need to have to become a Black Belt. It is important to acknowledge that perseverance is not your passion, intensity, or desire to succeed while making an effort. It is getting back up when you fall down. It is using a failure or shortcoming as a lesson and practicing, learning, and trying again, and again, until you succeed.

As the famous idiom goes, “where there is a will there is a way.” What it is saying is that through perseverance, the active embodiment of determination, you can achieve whatever you set your mind to, regardless of how challenging it is. Being a Black Belt is about so much more than being a skilled martial artist. It is about being in complete control of yourself, and maximizing your potential. It is about being a leader, a success, a friend, a community member, and a role model. And mastering your perseverance is key to being all of those.

You will face obstacles, sometimes seemingly insurmountable, in all aspects of your life. While walking away, avoiding, or redirecting a problem onto someone else may make the problem go away or delay it for another day what it won’t do is get you closer to your goal.

When you train yourself to persevere (yes, this takes practice) you build the good habit of doing whatever you can to achieve what you need. And when you combine that habit with the others you practice, like courtesy, modesty, commitment, respect, selflessness, compassion, etc…, you better yourself and everyone around you. You will become a role model for success, leadership, and community. You will become a Black Belt.

Just remind yourself when something gets in your way, “go over, go under, go around, or go through, but never give up.”

Advice from Sensei— Integrity

There’s an old saying that “integrity is what you do when no one is watching.” When you think about it, that definition makes a lot of sense. After all, having integrity comes from within, from a source of deep conviction that doing right is more important than being seen doing right.

Integrity, which is rooted in the Latin word integer, meaning “intact,” is very important, especially for a Martial Artist. Integrity can be understood as a person with his or her morals intact, or a nation with its territory undisrupted and whole. Both meanings are helpful when we think about the importance of integrity in our lives as Martial Artists.

Simply put, integrity means you do what you say you’ll do, and what you say and do are deeply rooted in strong personal values. Integrity really means being in harmony with your core values.

Confucius said, “The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.”

When you think about it, the sage was indeed very wise in offering those words; only people of strong integrity can sustain a strong nation. Rousseau’s “social contract” relies entirely on the integrity of each individual citizen. What would happen to society if everyone lacked integrity?

Integrity is a powerful and important ingredient in becoming a leader—in and out of the dojo. As Martial Artists, we are in a unique position to cultivate our own integrity and, by doing so, to improve our home, our community, and our nation.

When you take the lessons you learn on the mats to your home and community, you establish yourself as a leader. And, because you operate in harmony with your core values, having integrity earns you the respect and trust of others. If you live your life with integrity, you may well find yourself leading your team, your class, your community—even your country. Integrity is where leadership starts!

As leaders and dedicated students of the martial arts, we must constantly remind ourselves to go beyond physical training and to also practice the mental and character developing aspects of the Martial Arts. A Black Belt is a symbol recognized worldwide that represents a high level of excellence, not just in physical skill, but also in attitude, behavior and character.  Sustaining the excellence of a Black Belt is one thing: Integrity.

This week, lead with integrity. Strive to be in harmony with your moral compass, and make sure everything you think, say, and do is in harmony with your core values.